


Deadbeat Mummy

by tribbled



Series: Slayer!Ladybug AU [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Episode: s01 Le Pharaon | The Pharaoh, Monster of the Week, Pre-Relationship, Slayer!Ladybug, Still Superheroes, Witch!ChatNoir, just not miraculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tribbled/pseuds/tribbled
Summary: A dark cloud splintered the sky above the Louvre’s Pyramid. The citizens of Paris screamed and ran in any direction that was away, ignoring the tall, blinged-out mummy slowly striding towards the Pyramid and the teen girl slung over his shoulder. Alya didn’t blame them. At apocalypse number—what was it now? Oh right—five in the last three months, heroics were getting a little old from anyone who wasn’t wearing black or spots. Still, at least it’s not vampires this time.-aka VampireSlayer!Ladybug AU short, as seen through Alya/the Ladyblog. Life is pretty much the same for our heroes, except for the methods and consequences.





	Deadbeat Mummy

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. Wrote this at 3 AM last night. Not sure what's happening to my brain, except that I really wanted this to exist.

A dark cloud splintered the sky above the Louvre’s Pyramid. The citizens of Paris screamed and ran in any direction that was away, ignoring the tall, blinged-out mummy slowly striding towards the Pyramid and the teen girl slung over his shoulder. Alya didn’t blame them. At apocalypse number—what was it now? Oh right— _five_ in the last three months, heroics were getting a little old from anyone who wasn’t wearing black or spots. Still, at least it’s not vampires this time.

She still has nightmares from the vampires.

Alya points her phone’s camera to the back of mummy dude’s head. The video rocks slightly from the mummy’s long, lurching steps, and there’s a thin, wailing background noise from the gaping black vortex overhead.

“So let me get this straight. You’re an ancient Egyptian, soul-sucking being trying to raise your girlfriend from the dead and you couldn’t think of a better villain name than Pharaoh?”

“Silence, foolish mortal girl! Address me as Your Majesty or Son of Ra or suffer divine consequences!”

“—But you just told me to be silent.”

“I will rip out your tongue if you disrespect me again. You will not have any tongue or life for long. Savor it while you can.”

Alya directs her camera back to her face and shrugs. She got origin, motivation, end-goal, and location details on her blog’s livestream. If that isn’t enough for Ladybug to swoop in and neatly kick ass before she gets sacrificed, she doesn’t know what is.

She’s not worried. Ladybug always comes through.

“I didn’t know it was walk like an Egyptian day! I feel absolutely gutted,” a playful voice calls from up ahead.

Alya swings her phone to the dark figure leaning against the glass and metal front of the Pyramid. She kinda has to scrunch around the back of mummy dude’s head to get a clear shot, her abs burning from the uncomfortable position.

Chat Noir is all long, lean lines cloaked in shadow. Wisps of black curl around him, sometimes suggesting a tail, other times forming into ears before dissipating once again. The only things about him that are sharp and in focus are his black razor claws, bright green eyes, and shaggy blond hair. Oh, and his grin, which he bestows onto mummy dude. Mummy dude bristles under Alya.

“You shall not get between me and my love, vile witch!”

The mummy swings a linen-wrapped fist into Chat Noir’s face. Chat Noir’s blond head ducks as he easily spins away, cackling. Alya squeaks as the mummy dude, and by extension herself, whip around to give chase.

“I’m just here to wrap things up for Ladybug,” Chat Noir says in an entirely too happy voice, dancing away from the mummy’s arm that isn’t clamped around Alya’s legs.

The mummy gnashes what is left of his teeth. “I will turn your bones to dust, you abomination, I will see you—”

They never find out where the mummy would see Chat Noir. The mummy emits a sound from his open mouth uncannily like that of a whistling kettle. He collapses and Alya pitches face-first into a pile of desiccated bones, ash, and linen wrappings. Fortunately, she keeps her arms extended and saves her phone.

“That’s disgusting. Are you alright?”

Alya flips onto her back. The livestream feed gets a frame full of Chat Noir’s concerned face, outlined by the newly returned sunlight.

“What just happened? Was that Ladybug? How did she defeat the mummy? No offense, Chat Noir, but I was right here and saw that you really didn’t do anything. What did the mummy mean by calling you a witch? Can we expect more mummies or are the vampire attacks going to return? Can I get an exclusive interview?”

Chat Noir rears back slightly as if Alya’s questions are a physical force pushing him back (she’s used to it). His mouth opens, pink and definitely human. His green eyes track from Alya to something beyond her and his whole body perks up.

“Uh. Gotta go.”

He disappears in a puff of oily smoke. When Alya lifts herself up and around to see what he was looking at, she sees him appear beside a black and red figure standing on top of the Louvre Museum. She manages to catch it on her livestream before they both vanish behind the building’s horizon line completely.  

She points the camera back to her face, flushed, beaming, proud.

“Well that’s it for our monster of the week, Ladybug fans. Make sure to subscribe for more on the scene action!”

She ends the livestream. This will get even more hits than her shaky video of Ladybug staking that first vampire who tried to turn their whole class two months ago. Alya dusts herself off and goes back inside the museum. Maybe Marinette will finally tell her the exhibit’s secret about Ladybug and vampire slaying.

There’s a crowd around one of the displays in the Egyptian antiquities collection. Alya can hear Jalil moaning to his father about magic and near-discoveries. His father scolds him too low to hear, but the crowd titters. Alya finds her friend hanging at the back of the room, Marinette's pigtails bouncing slightly as she stands on tip-toe to see what the commotion is about.

“What’s going on?” Alya says. She can gush about her near-sacrifice at a less awkward time.

Marinette purses her lips to the side, concerned blue eyes fixed on Jalil. “Ladybug broke one of the exhibit’s amulets. Jalil shouldn't get blamed. I mean, he shouldn't mess with magical artifacts but he didn't break it. Um, not that I saw it happen! I just heard about it! I was, um, hiding. Behind the sarcophagus." Marinette points at the sarcophagus in question and turns to Alya with a nervous laugh. "But are you okay? You look okay but I saw you get taken.”

 Alya can’t believe her luck, she’s practically buzzing in excitement. “No way! But don't you see? Breaking the amulet must be how she defeated the mummy! Hold on, I have to update the blog." She has the scoop on the  _why_  of this monster mystery before anyone else! "Oh, I'm totally fine, by the way. Ladybug saved me and Chat Noir helped.” 

Marinette giggles and twines one of her arms through Alya’s as her best friend furiously types away at her phone.

Alya doesn’t notice when Marinette freezes. She doesn’t look away from her phone as Marinette hurriedly pushes red and spotted fabric back into her bag and pulls the zipper with a relieved sigh.


End file.
